ER OG get together

 So I (!! So unlike me) organized a former co-worker get together last Saturday. Maybe 15-20 people came. Shocking. I go to see all my favorite people I used to work with. That was fun. Fun to reminenice. One guy started the same day as me and was born on the same day as me. Not the same day. I'm younger. Ha

The funnest part was seeing the people from my old weekend. I worked every 3rd weekend for years 9a-9p withe same people.  It was great weekend. Everybody was chill, nice. It saved my mental life for years.  I looked forward to it and it made working so much easier. 

Sounds like the place has really changed. Theyhave had a couple managers since I left almost 5 years ago. They are replacing EMTs with nursing assistants. Wow.

Just about everyone has left that I worked with, either retired or moved on.

People looked about the same. More gray hair on some. So a good time was had by all.

I sit in judgement of you.

When I left nursing 4 1/2  years ago, it took me months to calm down. I lived my life sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for something bad to happen. I know my job kept me anxious. 

 I became an expert at shoving all the anxiety and other feelings down. I was cool as a cucumber at work. Nothing rattled me. People used to say , "Do you ever get excited about anything?" If no one is dying, there is nothing to get excited about. It could all be handled. After about 5-10 years, nothing phases you. Your arm would have to be hanging by a thread to get me excited. Then I'd tell whoever was with you to take this bandage and put pressure on the wound. Meanwhile, have a seat in the lobby. Bada bing.

Under all that calmness and cynical humor, there was still a human being. 

Probably the worst place to be in any ER is the triage area. The area where you present your sad tale of woe. Then I sit in judgement of your worthiness to do the following:

1) Be rushed back because you are in TROUBLE.

2) Need to be triaged sooner rather than later.

3) I can get you started with an xray, blood draw, EKG, etc.

4) Whether this is a clinic visit and you may be out in the lobby on your next birthday.

The part where I get you to feel sorry for me.

Why did  I stay a nurse for 34 years? Not only that, but stayed at the same hospital, the same ER job.

I stayed that's what my generation did. We stayed at jobs a long time. I stayed because I had to make a living. I had a son to support.

But why the ER? Why did you put yourself through that for 30 excruciating years? Hmm...because I'm insane but that's already been established. It was flexible. I worked five 12 hour shifts in 2 weeks, every 3rd weekend. I worked 9a to 9p. I could easily get 2 weeks off. I could trade shifts. I could leave early.

I stayed because it was easier to stay than start something new.  I had seniority. It was challenging. I was good at it. It was always different. Always learning  something new. 

But it took its toll. On my mental, physical and emotional health. It felt like it was the center of my existence. I was either exhausted from it or anticipating having to go back. It was physically exhausting. There were many a day I didn't get a break for 6-8 hours into the shift.  I learned to hold my bladder for hours and hours. I became a Naprosyn addict. Har.

The biggest toll was on my mental health. I began to hate people. I was skeptical of everybody. I judged everybody. I thought most people were stupid. In other words I wasn't a very nice person by the end.

I was completely burned out. I was mailing it in. I hated my job. 

Did I still care? Yeah, I did, but I only if I deemed you worthy. 

I sound like a horrible person. I wasn't.  It's just that you can't work at a job like that for that long and not turn into a complete cynic.

Dealing with the public is so hard. Dealing with the public when they are under emotional or physical stress is awful. There are a lot of un-nice people in the world. Take the un-nice general public, throw in drunks, drug addicts, the mentally ill, criminals and you have a toxic stew you work in every day. Then add to that real tragedy.

I honestly think no one should work in an ER more than 5 years.

 

ER nurse recipe

So you are probably wondering how I managed to stay an ER nurse for years.  

Here is the recipe for a long term ER nurse: 

A teaspoon of codependence

Liberal sprinkling of adrenal junkie

 1/2 cup risk taker

A dash of sadism

A dash of masochism

A cup sales ability

Patience of one saint

The brain of one cynic

Large cup sense of humor

A couple years nursing experience, preferably critical care (optional during shortage)

One pint of calmness under pressure

1/2 nice person

Toss all ingredients into blender. Put on high for 30 years.  Take the top off and *poof* there will be an ER nurse, aka a lunatic, in there.

Caution: fragile, treat with care. Keep away from flame.

Crazy ER nurse

before

after

This is my third blog. Here are the other two:

The OG blog: emergency-room-nurse.blogspot.com 

The travelin' Europe blog: retired-nurse.blogspot.com

As you may have surmised - yes, I was an ER nurse for 30 long years and

lived to tell about it, was never jailed for punching, somebody, survived with at least half of my brain left. I think the experience destroyed a lot of brain cells. Har.

So, I retired 4 years, 200 or so days and 7 hours ago. Not that I'm counting or anything(!).  I like to think of those years as the LOST PERIOD of my life. I entered the ER twilight zone in 1989 and came hurtling out of it 2019.  Yes hurdling or maybe spinning would be a better word.  It was like being  in the middle of a hurricane...  The winds would blow me this way and that with an occasional visit to the calm center. That never lasted. Pretty soon I was back in the wind.

I could have been be certified legally insane at the end but somehow I evaded commitment by the skin of my teeth.

On day 1 of my retirement I had one question: WHAT IN THE HELL DO I DO NOW?!!

As you can see I started my ER career, I was a superhero.  By the time I was done, I looked like a crackhead. Yes, they chewed me up and spit me out people.